And So It Seems

Collen Anne

There are so many dreams I dream.

So many evenings when I can hardly will my mind and imagination back to reality, because I know its not quite as much fun as what I’ve conjured up in my over-active mind. Let me just see if I can spurt out a few of the things that are rattling around in my 21 year old brain.

.:.Nature, earth, growing new plants and breathing fresh air.:.

.:.Where I will plant my adult hood roots, my childrens roots and my gardens roots.:.

.:.If I could ever really leave the comfort and security my very own front porch offers me daily, for a life outside of it.:.

.:.Have I really lived through all the storms and battles life’s thrown at me?.:.

.:.Will I ever really go to Ireland and sit on the shores of the Irish Sea, without a care in the world?.:.

.:.Will I ever make a choice or live a certain way that doesn’t have me wondering if I should be doing things differently?.:.

.:.Why did God make me how I am?.:.

.:.What will it feel like to have a mothers love for her children?.:.

.:.The sound of the ocean, the smell of the salty breeze and the peace that insists on washing over me when I’m sitting by the sea.:.

.:.Flashbacks of his death and the days following.:.

.:.Needed healing on open wounds.:.

.:.Always moving forward yet always wishing I could just sit still and soak in my own feelings.:.

.:.The conflict inside of me between the life I want and the life I believe I’m supposed to lead for a while.:.

.:.Balancing out my passions and afflictions so I’m not so hot and cold about things.:.

.:.The stories and subjects everyone in my life talks to me about. They rattle around in my mind over and over, sometimes echoing away and sometimes never getting quieter. I wish I could make the stories stop some days, or at least only keep the good ones.:.

.:.The hard choices in life.:.

…..so those are just a small few of the things that are moving about up in my noggin. I’m tired of thinking, I’m tired of wondering and I believe this is why I resort to day dreaming. Right now, this very second I can give you a wonderful little picture of what I wish I were doing:

.:.It’s morning, I hear the ocean’s waves crashing outside the kitchen window and smell that awesome fresh, fishy air breezing through the house. I’m makin pancakes, light fluffy flap jack kinds of pancakes and my plans for the day are to sit by the water, mist, rain or shine and soak in its might and wonder. I’ll walk from one end of the shore to the other, I’ll sketch a little, read a lot, pray off and on, doze in and out or that peaceful rest I only get when I’m by the sea….and once the sun has set and I’m walking back into this fictional house, after living this fictional day…I slip into bed, flick the light out and fall asleep to the everlasting sound of the waves meeting the shore..:.

Cheers,

kvandeway

 

 

 

Colleen Anne